If you want to quit your job, you CAN find a way
It’s O.K. to quit.
Really.
Sticking with a career path because you feel you’re “supposed to,” because you have a degree in that area, because you’re worried about what other people will say, because you have a specific vision of the type of job title/salary someone like you should have — these are not good reasons.
It really is O.K. to quit and do something totally different, something you never thought you’d end up doing. It’s not always your fault things didn’t work out. In my case, my industry changed, and I didn’t like it much anymore. Maybe your interests changed, or passions you once considered part of your core identity flickered out. It happens. It’s O.K.
When I first began to consider quitting — what? I can’t do that! Why am I even thinking this way? — I Googled all these random things on the web, trying to find … I’m not sure exactly. I think I was looking for some sort of reassurance or affirmation in a world of Stick With It! Quitters Never Win! Welcome to Adulthood! that quitting a job (or career, or whole way of life) was something that other people have done and they turned out fine.
I am here to tell you it turns out fine.
I’m putting this post up so someone who is Googling stuff about wanting to quit their job or feeling scared to leave their job to try something new — something radically different from what they’re doing now — can find a little patch on the web where other people say it will be O.K., and that a few months into the decision you’ll wonder what the hell all your hand-wringing was about. The path isn’t always clear and sometimes involves, well, broke-dom. But don’t listen to ANYONE who says career is very important and that you’re “throwing” yours away.
Sell your belongings, move somewhere cheaper, figure out a new, different way to make money. Your current job, the one that is boring you or stressing you, is not the only way.
And if you change your mind a few years later after quitting, it’s alright. You can go back. This is America, people get second tries all the time. I mean, Clinton and Bush got re-elected despite (insert what you hate about Clinton or Bush here). You’re not going to screw up as bad as (that thing they did in their first term that you hate)!
P.S.
I suspect 95 percent of you were Clinton voters but I wanted to be polite and offer the Bush option.
P.P.S.
Another sign you need to make a radical change and soon? Complaining about your job all the time to your family, partner and friends, for months or years (I know a few people going on years. Years!) on end. You need to stop. They don’t want to hear it anymore, and you don’t want to keep complaining.
Make a change. Find a way. Don’t act like a victim.
do what i am doing and go back to school … or maybe not, but that was my escape route.
oh god, you scare the hell out of me.
@sarah — yes, that totally counts. I have several friends escaping unhappy jobs via grad school right now. They’re all excited about where it will take them and it’s so cool to see.
@mosprott — elaborate?
I can’t elaborate for mosprott but you scare me because it feels as if you pulled the thoughts right out of my brain. You just pulled out the fears and posted them for the whole world to see. Thank you for that.
I am glad you liked and identify. I had so many fears before I quit! Oh Lordy, so many.
Yay Emily! Way to preach it!
…I always wonder about people who post on their Facebook every Friday, “Thank God it’s Friday!” and on Monday, feelings of dread that the weekend was too short.
I mean, once in a while is normal, but I know a couple of people who do this every week.
We are alive seven days a week, not just two!
yay! i feel such a relief to have fully and entirely quit my “real job.” it took a full year and a half from the first moment i thought i wanted to. a year and a half! 8 months until i switched to part-time, then almost another 8 as i slowly cut down my hours and finally pulled the plug entirely.
still don’t know exactly what i’m doing next, but hey, i live with roommates, live cheap, and i’m making it. i’m happier, and i know i had to clear that job out of the way before the next career move could come into my life.
Thank you for this.
The only thing that is holding me back now is that we want to get pregnant soon and my hubby’s employer doesn’t offer health insurance. I want to stay home and be a housewife so badly! My job BORES me daily. I sit there and wish I was at home
I’m hoping we get pregnant soon and I can stay at home. I am still trying to figure out health insurance, but hopefully we’ll come to some conclusion when we need to.
You are so right. I gave up a respectable, well-paid job a few months’ ago and am now trying to do a mixture of slightly-incomprehensible-to- most- others things. Generally I’m really happy with my decision, and think I should probably have been braver earlier, but it is really good and reassuring to see that something else thinks the way I do! Life is definitely too short to hate/be thoroughly bored by your job.
@Andrea — a great point. one of the reasons why I knew I needed to quit was when I dreaded the end of the weekend. Not here and there. But every weekend, for months on end.
@Jessica — congratulations. And thanks for pointing out it doesn’t have to be a one-day change where you just quit one job and go from there. Changes can be phased in and out over months. I think that’s often the better way to do it, intentional or not.
@Mrs Money — best of luck with all things baby! Boredom is so draining — it truly makes work miserable. One thing about the health insurance (and I almost learned this the hard way): make sure you are on the insurance you plan to use for the entire pregnancy before you get pregnant. If you get pregnant first and then switch insurance plans, the new insurer is legally allowed to exclude your maternity coverage on the grounds the pregnancy was a pre-existing condition.
@Penny — this is awesome! I am excited for you!
You are so right. The only thing holding my wife and I back right now from doing just this is that our house isn’t selling, so we need to stay at jobs that pay enough to pay for it. A vicious cycle!
Once it sells though, we are off on a new adventure! We hope to live on a sailboat, and become seasonal “nomads”.
Thanks for swinging by, Bill! You are right about the vicious cycle. It’s so hard. But the next step … ahhh, seasonal nomads, what a great adventure.
Thank you for this post. I need to send it to some family members and friends who still can’t fathom why I left my job almost 4 years ago, and cannot grasp that I am perfectly happy doing what I’m doing now. After all, I have a degree! And I’m not using it! I NEED to be working!
Complaining about your job/work all the time is what finally got me to leave my job. It wasn’t just me that was unhappy either; I was making everyone else miserable as well. Leaving my job was the right thing to do.
I’ve thought about going back now and again, but every time I think seriously about returning to teaching I realize it’s not what I want, nor what anyone else in my immediate family wants either. But, I have my degree, and I do have options (although it looks like ESL is going to be cut way back in our community in the near future, which will flood the employment market).
I stopped working to stay home with 2 babies that we adopted. Working 40 hours a week for someone else was so sucking up my life. It’s been hard because my husband is a carpenter and right now we don’t have health insurance because we couldn’t afford it with the economy. Being broke and happy is way better than being rich and sad.
Aaaaaaaamen.
I quit my journalism world job for grad school. So far, I’m loving it. The options and opportunities in front of me are amazing. And, the best part, my friends and family still love and support me and what I’m going after, even if I am still figuring it out.
2.5 years after DH quit his job to be home with us, he says he didn’t know what he was missing out on when the kids were little. he’s so thankful that he didn’t miss out on these years now. he didn’t hate his job, was well respected by his bosses, at the top of his game. to him, no job, no matter how big/important/satisfying/whatever, is worth missing the kids’ lives. so keep encouraging people emily. so glad you have found it worth it too.
@thinner — “Some family members and friends who still can’t fathom why I left my job almost 4 years ago, and cannot grasp that I am perfectly happy doing what I’m doing now. After all, I have a degree! And I’m not using it! I NEED to be working!”
Exactly. Oy. I am glad you’ve been able to tune that stuff out. The fact they still keep saying it sounds a bit like the issue has something to do with them, not you. Probably jealous of you.
@Teri — Howdy! You’ve got a great attitude and I am glad you feel good about your move.
@Leslie — Quitting journalism for something more stable and satisfying — you know I understand! Glad the people in your life are supportive.
@missy — girl when are you going to start a blog?
I know…I’m just scared. What a wimp I am! But I do have 175 pages in my novel.
Thanks for posting! My partner just finished her PhD and I’ll finally get the chance to do something different career wise. I can not wait. I’ve hated my job for at least 10 year but felt afraid to do something different until 5 years ago. Then the PhD program started and we really did have to have my income and benefits.
I am finally starting to feel free even though I have no idea what I’m going to do.
Thanks for posting!
@growandresist — “I am finally starting to feel free even though I have no idea what I’m going to do.”
AWESOME! How exciting to have a big new chapter ahead of you!
Thanks for posting this. I am currently 5 1/2 months pregnant, and don’t think that 12 weeks will be nearly enough time to spend with my baby when he arrives. I have felt guilty; I have a great job with amazing pay and benefits, a great boss that is so inspiring and admirable, but…I feel empty. I love nonprofits, and used to volunteer so many hours to causes I love, and now I do…nothing. I spend all of that time basically making money, not that there is anything wrong with that, but we could easily live without my salary as my husband has his own business and is doing well. As a female, I feel like society has pounded into our heads that if we are capable, we should climb the corporate ladder as high as we can! That’s what we’ve been working so hard for with equal rights, isn’t it? But I’m starting to wonder if we should support equal rights so a woman can choose to work or not, and then not feel guilty if she chooses to stay home.
So glad you posted this
it amazes me how me how many people get stuck just because of benefits. I’m still so happy about having left my jib almost three years ago.
I had some of those same feeling when I quit my job to become a stay-at-home mom. It took a while to get used to the whole stay-at-home thing. My thought at the time was that I’m not earning my keep, if I don’t make money. It made me feel a little worthless at first : ( , but I stuck it out! I now have 3 beautiful girls and I would not change anything! The time with them is precious. We have had our financial ups and downs, but we always get by with the Lord’s help and by helping ourselves. I’m now a frugal homemaker, living in the beautiful south (I moved from Chicago), and I am happier than I have ever been.
@Lacie — congratulations on your pregnancy! I completely agree with what you wrote here: “As a female, I feel like society has pounded into our heads that if we are capable, we should climb the corporate ladder as high as we can! That’s what we’ve been working so hard for with equal rights, isn’t it? But I’m starting to wonder if we should support equal rights so a woman can choose to work or not, and then not feel guilty if she chooses to stay home.”
I felt some guilt, feminist-wise, for just quitting and living off of my spouse’s salary. But I have to remind myself that I think the message of “women succeeding in career = progress and equality” is, in my opinion, overblown. The woman who makes the highest salary does not win some sort of prize.
@Jessie — can you imagine, if stupid health insurance weren’t an issue, how many people would leave jobs that makes them unhappy and follow their dreams elsewhere?
@Robin — Welcome! It’s great to hear from someone who’s been on the “other side” for awhile and is still happy with the decision.
so many times — like right now — ive been so broke that i eat beans and rice for weeks, and nothing else. those times can get low, and i wonder if i’m living my life totally irresponsibly, if i should’ve stayed at my cushy corporate job instead of quitting to travel, waitress, and write.
thank you for the reminder that i’m so much friggin happier now.
I remember well having those feelings of dread every Sunday night. I also remember stressing myself out, being depressed and feeling trapped. I’m going on 12 years and we’ve not only survived, we’ve thrived. Really, people, life is way too short.
Yes, exactly. As always LL, you get it!
I’m having the same Sunday night dread right now. *sigh*… I need the strength to just say, “Screw it!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Been thinking a lot lately about work and the concept of work and how the ability to work is a blessing.
Emily: It is not as if you don’t work. You know the value of working hands, of not being idle. But your work has just changed, and yes, you have more time for leisure, which is also a blessing!
You DO work — creating and building takes work. It’s just a matter of what you choose to create and build. You are creating and building a home, a family, food, a way of life.
And your form of creating requires you to take — consume — less.
Hm…I need to more full flesh out the idea, but I’m glad you were clear to write about quitting a job, rather than quitting work.
Yup I’m so glad I get maternity leave in November so I can start using my time in a more constructive manner. Not that I don’t love reading your blog at work! *wink*
Man, you Americans are making me feel really lucky to be Canadian! 12 months maternity and provincial medical service…. Can I recommend you immigrating to Canada in the whole “quitting your job scenario!” Better yet, Norway! Great maternity leave there.
Thanks for being the crazy voice of encouragement because I have a feeling that your voice may be the more sane one than the ones of us who clock 40 hrs doing nothing valuable.
I love this comment:
“We are alive seven days a week, not just two!”
yay!
What a great post. I think about this all the time. I would love to be in a position to quit my job and just–explore my options for awhile, but it’s definitely scary. Especially being that I’m not married so have no second income to fall back on. I am definitely calculating a plan now though and hope that within the next 6 mos, I will be well on my way to something (whatever that may be) that doesn’t bore me up to my eyeballs. Thanks for posting this!
I quit my job via jet plane in 2003 – with no job to go to, no home to go to, no plans. I have written a book about it, to be published soon! Once you quit one job, it’s easier to quit other jobs!
I am that person who just ran a search in hopes of finding reassurance when considering quitting my job! I love this article. Thank you.
Hang in there! You will figure a way out. Email if you want to chat. littlesouthernprairie (at) yahoo (dot) com
Me too! I’ve wondered for years if I made the right decision quitting journalism — I’m a bit of a perfectionist and thought it must have been something wrong with ME, but it was really just that the job wasn’t right FOR me. Went to library school and worked in libraries for awhile but I am now unemployed and going back to school for computer science. Life is not a straight path and it does not require that you meet certain expectations of society and others. At the end of the day, you have to answer to yourself. New adventures, ahoy!
Congratulations on embracing your own curving path, Jennifer! Best to you.